Ninja Song Parodies

Song parodies have been a long standing part of Ninja Tradition. When you work in SEO long enough sooner or later everything becomes about search engines and links, and you get inspired to re-write songs. Or at least we do.  So to carry on the Legacy of Jim’s early work like “The Linker” , “Linking Dirty” and of course, Company theme songs, we add these new classics to the collection.

Damn It Feels Good to Be a Ninja – Click to Listen!
To the tune of the Geto Boys “Damn It Feels Good to Be a Gangsta”:

Damn it feels good to be a ninja
Cuz real SEO ninjas get you upped in rank
When you hit number one you’ll have us to thank
Sales go up, you’ll need another bank
Real SEO ninjas keep sites optimized
With keywords, learn to economize
And if you copy content even pocket-sized
When ‘Google’ sees it you’ll be ostracized
A lot of guys get struck by their Panda answer
They makin’ users bounce without the dancers
The type of hit they wish their brand had planned for
Now they watchin’ their sites tank, sans the Panzers
Just being blunt, not mean or cruel
Real SEO ninjas use secret tools
And have the knowledge they don’t teach in schools
On the road trip to conversions, we the fuel
Gotta get backlinks from them TLDs
You’ll eat competitors like a BLT
Buckle your seatbelt please, don’t wanna see ya injured
Damn it feels good to be a ninja

-By Ninja Adam W.

One Love – Linkbuilding Edition
To the tune of Bob Marley’s “One Love”:

One love, one heart
Let’s link together and get ranked high
Hear linkbuilders crying (One love)
Hear linkbuilders crying (One heart)
Sayin’, “Give thanks and praise to ‘Google’ and I will get ranked high.”
Sayin’, “Let’s link together and get ranked high.”
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Let them engines pass their dirty remarks (One love)
There is one question I’d really love to ask (One heart)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner
Who has spammed all the web just to save his own?
Believe me

One love, one heart
Let’s link together and get ranked high
As it was in the beginning (One love)
So shall it be in the end (One heart)
Alright, “Give thanks and praise to ‘Google’ and I will get ranked high.”
“Let’s link together and get ranked high.”
One more thing

Let’s link together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One love)
So when Panda comes there will be no, no doom (One song)
Have pity on those whose chances grow thinner
There ain’t no hiding place, but still I’m Feeling Lucky!

Sayin’, “One love, one heart
Let’s link together and get ranked high.”
I’m pleading to ninjas (One love)
Oh, Lord (One heart) Whoa.

“Give thanks and praise to ‘Google’ and I will get ranked high.”
Let’s link together and get ranked high.

“Give thanks and praise to ‘Google’ and I will get ranked high.”
Let’s link together and get ranked high.
– By Ninja Brian W.

I’m Just a Link
Lyrics based on Dave Frishberg’s “I’m Just a Bill”:

Boy: Woof! You’ve gotta click through a lot of search engine result pages to get here. But I wonder who that sad little link at the bottom is?
I’m just a link.
Yes, I’m only a link.
And I’m sitting here on page twenty’s brink.
Well, it’s a long, long journey
To the summit of Google.
It’s a long, long wait
While I’m working up the rankings,
But I know I’ll be on top someday.
At least I hope and pray I won’t sink.
But today I am still just a link.
Boy: Gee, Link, you certainly have a lot of patience and courage.
Link: Well I got this far. When I started, I wasn’t even a link, I was just an idea. Some Bob in the basement decided he wanted a site about cats, so he called up a domain provider and said, “I want to buy catsinsweaters.com.” Then he sat down and wrote the code and published me on the Internet. And I became a link, and I’ll remain a link until he stops paying for the hosting.
I’m just a link.
Yes I’m only a link.
When I hit the first page of ‘Google’, Inc.,
Well, I got pooped on by Panda.
And I’ll sit here and wait
While Matt Cutts and company discuss and debate
Whether they should let me climb the ranks.
Or will they damn me as a fink?
But today I am still just a link.
Boy: Listen to those SEOs arguing! Is all that discussion and debate about you?
Link: Yeah, I’m one of the lucky ones. Most links never even get this far. I hope they recognize me as an authority on cats in sweaters, otherwise I may die.
Boy: Die?
Link: Yeah, die in ‘Google’ prison. Oooh, but it looks like I’m gonna live! Now I’ve got to go through Penguin to make sure I’m not over-optimizing.
Boy: If you pass that, what happens?
Link: Then I update my content and start climbing the rankings all over again.
Boy: Oh no!
Link: Oh yes!
I’m just a link.
Yes, I’m only a link.
Well now they finally let me out of the clink,
But they still put paid ads on top
Above the results queue
Where I fight the other links
Using my ninja kung fu.
And if one day I become number one,
I will pour a toast and I’ll drink.
But today I am still just a link.
Boy: You mean even if you get to the top and should be number one, ‘Google’ can put paid ads above you?
Link: Yes, that’s called AdWords. If my competitors pay ‘Google’, they can show up at the top for popular search keywords…
Boy: After all that time and work, it’s still unlikely you’ll be first. It’s not easy to become number one, is it?
Link: No!
But how I hope and I pray I won’t sink.
But today I am still just a link.
Google: You did it, Link! You’re number one!
Link: I’m Feeling Lucky!!!
-By Ninja Brian W.

cc licensed ( BY SD ) flickr photo shared by brunkfordbraun