Google Panda Update: Your Site is Going to Survive (funny)

I was on my way home tonight listening to an old mix CD I have when I heard an old Hank Williams Jr song called  “Country Boy Can Survive.”…. and since my mind is so immersed in this Google Panda Update…I started playing with the lyrics for fun… I ended up reworking the lyrics…and it ended up being a song to the 12 sites that we’re working with that have been pooped on my the Panda (some existing clients, and some “new friends”…BTW, it’ll be a month before we can take on any other panda people…we have 9 people working on Panda (+me) and we’re already balls to the wall in reports, analysis, and recommendations for these 12). These clients are getting more rounds of reports….including a deep content analysis, a deep usability analysis, a deep analytics analysis, a deep ClickTale analysis, and design mockups for several types of pages the clients have… like I said… the word “Panda” is probably mentioned 100 times a day at our office…and I’ve been working nearly every night until 2am at the office…so don’t blame me for turning everything I see, and every song I hear, into something about Panda… I wasn’t going to blog this…but hey…why not??…

I’d like to dedicate this song to the 12 sites that we’re working on now that were pooped on by panda, and to my wonderful Ninja Panda Army….Panda People Unite! (As we raise our hands up in the air)!

Jim’s remake of the Hank Williams Jr song, “Country Boy Can Survive”

Your Site is Going to Survive!

Google’s Panda Update hit you hard this time
But Jim’s Ninja’s are together, and he’s drawn the line
Your unemployment is up and your traffic is down
But Jim’s ninja are united from both sides of town

We live in Upstate New York you see
And Google Update’s have never stopped me
But Google has changed, and so have I
And your site is going to survive
Your site is going to survive

We can write great content all day long
And we can work on usability from dusk till dawn
Yea, I’ve been through worse things than this a time or two
So believe you me, there ain’t many things my ninja army can’t do
We get followers and tweets, and we get Likes
And your site is going to survive
Your site is going to survive

You you can’t Poop us out, An you can’t make us run
Cause my marketing ninjas, can perform under the gun
Hey Mr Panda, Hey Panda Man
I know why you hate me, cause you love the big big brand
I’ve taken a walk into the Google minds
Read the patents and all the papers I could find.
And I can Analyze Back, and you’ll be fine
Cause your site is going to survive
Your site is going to survive

I had a good client in New York City
He never knew me by my my name, used to call me Link-ably.
I spend my time reading Aaron and Rand
And my client worked his site like a good business man
He used to send me Hot Fudge, to keep me working up late at night
I’d send him some of my Super Ninja Links , Links I know he’d love
But he was Pooped on by the terrible Panda
So he’s now another client asking me, “Jim, Oh Why!”
An Algorithm for an Algorithm, I’ll reverse engineer
And that’s my slogan, I know for you it’s do or die
And your site is going to survive
Your site is going to survive

Cause you can’t Pandasize me out, and you can’t make us run
We’re them Marketing Ninjas that work well under the gun
Hey Mr Panda, Hey Panda Man
I know why you hate me, cause you love the big big brand
I’m working with clients who were not content farms
And all Google’s done is unite my ninja band
There’s no more White Hat Vs. Black Hat this time
But one united team that you can stand behind
Your site is going to survive
Your site is going to survive

…………………………………

Hey, if you want to see some other old funny SEO songs I’ve done in the past,  here’s some:

• 2 Old WBP theme songs
• Linking Dirty
• Don’t Show your Sites to Matt,
• I went to a Marketing Party,
• Sympathy for the SERP Chaser,
• The Linker

Wow…I’m getting a big collection of internet marketing songs….yea, I’m weird…but I like it!

I’m Feeling Lucky,
Jim

• Google Panda Update – User Behavior and Other Signals – Examines user behavior as a factor, query entry, the
  SERP behavior, and click backs. Also looks into when you can get out of being Pandasized.
• Thoughts and Solutions from Jim Boykin – Post discussing the background of the Panda Update, including the supplemental
  results, caffine, and beyond. This post also looks at, ” if I were Google what I would look at,” and at solutions.
• Google Panda Update – A Overview of Analytics of 5 Panda II Affected Sites – This post discusses the analytics
  of five affected sites
• Google Panda Update – Google’s Content Guidence and Jim’s Take – This article goes over the list of 23 questions of
  the ‘Google MMindset’ for the Panda Update and outlines Jims thoughts for each.
• Google Panda Update Panda’s Punitive Punishment of Good Content – This post discuses how the Panda will punish your
  good content if fyou have bad content as well
• Google Panda Update – Short Clicks and Long Clicks / Pogosticking – this post talks about how Google uses its logs and
  click information, particularly for short clicks, long clicks, and pogosticking to help evaluate and rerank search results.
  The post further discusses potential implications on the Panda update.
• Losing Clients to Panda. I Just Lost $17,500/Month – Sharing of experience on the Panda Update as well as reflection
  on previous updates
• Google Agent Rank and Reputational Scores…It’s About Content and Writers and Panda! – Breakdown of what ‘agent rank’ means
  and a view from a Google Panda lens.
• Google Panda Update: Content + Design = Usable, Trustworthy Websites – discussion of website usability and implications
  on Google Panda Update

Click Here
If you were affected by
Panda or Penguin!